The Breakfast Show with Peter Mac

 

Pete is on the air weekday mornings from 6am on the Channel 103 Breakfast Show with Sure.

Join Pete for the Mystery Voice every weekday morning to win cash my working out who the voice belongs to.

Also see how well you know your music and knowledge by playing the rewind after 9.

Wake up the right way with the Channel 103, weekdays from 6am to 10am.


E-mail Pete
Mystery Voices with Bromley Sanders Recruitment
  More about Pete

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Stuff Pete's been talking about lately...

 

Predictions for the 21st century published in a 1900 edition of the “Ladies’ Home Journal”, based on input from ‘the wisest and most careful men in our greatest institutions of science and learning’. Some are bulls-eyes, others spectacularly off-target …

✓ Color photos will be sent around-the-world, with images shot inChinaappearing in US newspapers within an hour.

✓ Open fires and chimneys will be replaced by home heating and air conditioning systems, with hot or cold air at the turn of a spigot.

✓ Stores will buy food ingredients in bulk and prepare ready-cooked meals at cheap prices which people can reheat at home.

✓ Home screens will allow people to watch events from around-the-world in their living rooms.

✓ Rays of invisible light will allow doctors to examine internal organs.

✗ Automobile engines will weigh around 1 pound.

✗ Food will be delivered to homes via pneumatic tubes, which customers will also use to send back the crockery and cutlery when they’ve finished eating.

✗ Strawberries will grow as large as apples; cranberries as large as oranges; peas as large as beets; and roses the size of cabbage heads.

✗ A move to phonetic spelling will mean that ‘C’, ‘X’ and ‘Q’ are dropped from the alphabet.

✗ Mosquitoes, houseflies, and roaches will have been permanently exterminated.

The average dog will cause nearly 2,000 arguments during its lifetime, a study has revealed.
That’s the equivalent of 156 quarrels every year – or 1,997 over the average dog’s life expectancy of almost 13 years.

 

TOP 20 DOGGIE DISPUTES

1. What to do with the dog when going away on holiday / for the weekend

2. The fact the dog hasn’t been walked / who should walk it

3. Whether the dog should be allowed on the beds

4. Whether the dog should be allowed upstairs

5. Who should clean up the mess in the back garden

6. One of you is being too harsh on the dog

7. One of you lets the dog onto the sofa

8. How much you have spent on the dog

9. Training the dog

10. Someone feeds the dog from the table

11. Who should babysit / look after the dog for you

12. Grooming the dog

13. Damage has been caused to the house by the dog

14. Who chose to buy the dog in the first place

15. Who should clear up the mess when the dog goes to the toilet on the carpet

16. Who should clear up the mess when the dog is sick on the carpet

17. One of you insists on treating them like a human

18. One of you lets them into a room of the house they are not normally allowed into

19. The kid’s toys have been eaten

20. Shoes have been chewed

Some words in other languages for which there is no English equivalent …

 

• ‘Kummerspeck’ (German) – Literally, it means ‘grief bacon’. It’s the excess weight gained from emotional overeating.

• ‘Luftmensch’ (Yiddish) – Literally, it means ‘air person’. It describes an impractical dreamer with no business sense.

 

• Vybafnout (Czech) – To jump out and say ‘boo!’.

 

• ‘Iktsuarpok’ (Inuit) – The feeling of anticipation when you’re waiting for someone to show up and you keep going outside to see if they’ve arrived.

 

 

 

• ‘Bakku-shan’ (Japanese) – The experience of seeing a woman who appears attractive from behind but not from the front.

 

Actual signs spotted posted around-the-world …

• “Road Unsafe When Under Water”
• “No Horn Blowing … Except for Anger”
• “Danger: Water in Pool”
• “This Is a Private Sign … Please Do Not Read”
• “If Door Does Not Open, Do Not Enter”
• “Touching Wires Causes Instant Death … $200 Fine”
• “Lane Closed to Ease Congestion”
• “Caution: This Sign Has Sharp Edges”
• “No Signs!

 

 

What did you want to be when you were 5?

 

When i was 5 i wanted to be an air hostess. I ended up hairdressing instead. Sue from grouville x x :-)

 

When i was 5 i wanted 2 b the person that hang of the back of the dustpan lorry as it looked really fun sarah

 

I wanted 2 be a Rodeo Rider.steve

 

I wanted 2 be steveaustin the bionic man. john

 

I wanted to be a Ninja turtle from Rhiannon

 

Eren wanted to be a butterfly

 

I wanted to work at disney as a villian! Scaring other kids sounded fun! -geek

 

Beth bell wanted to be la la from telli tubbies

 

My daughter Tatum at age 5 wanted to be a giant rabbit now age 8 she wants to be a vet x can you say hi to my other daughter Talia thanks great show as always x

 

I just wanted to be at home peter, I hated school even at that age, ken

 

I wanted to be a boy, from vicki x still a girl and very happy. Thank goodness no one took me seriously at 5 :)

 

­When I was 5 I wanted to be a Marine Biologist but ended up being a publican. It's pretty similar I suppose I still have to deal with some creatures subm­­erged in liquid from Sean at The Lamplighter.

 

I wanted to be an only child. And still do.

 

I wanted to be bob the builder

 

I wanted to be liono from the thunder cats. From owen.

 

I wanted to be a model from mick the fish

 

Hi Peter, just spoken to my 5 year old ocean she wants to follow in her daddy footsteps and be firefighter. Thank you nicki

 

I wanted to be a soldier like my Dad until i realised you could get shot ! BRAVE FELLAS and GALS

 

When i was 5 i wanted to play for man utd i am now 50 and still waiting for sir alex to call i feel i may be to old now.tom m

 

Hi Peter, when we were young we used to see the Breton farm workers drinking beer in the sun outside Sion Stores on their break. My dad said 'thats how you'll end up if you fail at school'. I remember thinking it looked a good career. Bob.

 

Hi Pete. I want to be a Lumberjack!

 

I wanted to be bruce lee because my name is lee bruce michel

 

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There are 6 ways to spell THIS summertime word in the English language.

BBQ, Bar-BQ, Bar-B-Cue, Bar-B-Que, Barbeque, Barbecue

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It all started when I realised that I don't say the word remuneration (I say renumaration).

Here are a few of the things some other tongue twisted fools can't say...

I can't say baccaruda

Morning pete. I can't say pedigree chum

An Anomoly! I don't think i can spell it either!

I cant say (or spell) the word for robbers starting with a 'b' it comes out as burgers! Nicky

My son can't say coat hanger! He says hoaten canner. Nik

Superfragilisticexpialidocious

People get illegible and eligible muddled a lot, and say 'I' when the correct word is 'me' (I should be used b4 a verb, otherwise it's Me). I find thromb ophlebitis hard to say, Kate

Words u have trouble saying.my wife has trouble saying the word No when cake is involved!john

Bonjour Pete. I can't say that train station in Wales. Llanfairpwllgyllgogerywyrndrobwlllantysiliogogogoch. Good luck. Philip Falop the French sandal maker

I can't say soldiers it always comes out as shoulders from julie,

Tax form can’t say that

I get mixed up when saying organism!

My daughter could never say hospital. She would say hostible. Great show. X

Mad Hatter I can't say palarell can't spell it either. My girls used to say pasghetti :-/

Peter my boss c,ant say bonus,burt the camper.

Morning Pete i have problems with saying 'specifically' - Karen.

BINOCULARS. I cant say Binoculars. From Jaq in the hat !!

Sea anenome from hollyrules

Good morning! I can't say no to chocolate cake! Ha ha :-D and can you say hello to my bestest mate Mel for me! Thanks Mandy x

Hi Peter, my brothr sed lemant 4 elephant and Lemonie 4 the gils name Melanie. Caz

Hi Pete. I can't say the words vocabulary & progesteron (which I have probably just spelt wrong as my predictive text didn't pick it up!) they always lea ve me tongue tied! Thanks as always for a brilliant show - the best way to start the day! Love Denny x x

I can't say aborigines

Pete i cant say or spell anenomie. Nicky

My son jake cant say spaghetti, he says basketty. X

It must be something in the water! These texts and emails are about strange things peoples pets eat. Don't be eating anything whilst you read it...

 

Our dog eats your pants he you leave them on the floor and eats her lead collar. Max denby

Our old dog use to eat lemons we had to start hiding them

My dog is prone to eating cucumber he’s a nutter hence his name rascal leeds

Hi both my cats eat toast with marmite talia xxx

Morning mr mac. Our cat mausie eats ear wax!! Have a good day, love from mel and Bex. X

My cat George eats sugar free lime jelly!! Must be lime- he turns his nose up at other flavours!!!!

Our dog oscar loves horse poo and tomatoes, but not at the same time, from kaden

Hi pete. Our old dog, lady, loved lettuce. But she would only eat it with home made vinigret and would refuse any bottled ones. Didibear

My fat cat leo has managed to take cling film off my meal and eat the whole thing including my veg. He has ask eaten a cheese scone , a cup of bacon fat and quiche and many other things ! He has serious issues ! From Sophie

Hey pete, our dog loves lettuce! On a not so nice note, shes also taken to eating cat pooh! S :-O

My cat eat my hamster. Chelsea Shirl

My dog cassidy has a glass of baileys every xmas. X mel

Our cat Alcapone eats green olives not the black ones. Dawn

Hi Pete My sons cat Boddington likes mince pies, but only hot with custard & Cointreau

We used to have a dog that ate woodlice! She used to seek them out in the garden.

Our cat alfie eats elastic bands. Ann x

My dog would eat anything even if he throws up he has 2 eat it and mobiles never leave them down anywhere. Oh a wok of oil that was left on the floor- his stomach swelled up so big his a crazy staffy

My friend's dog ate a whole salmon prepared for a dinner party followed x a 50 pound note!Tracy( too tired for work! )

Morning my horse likes banana skin and all thanks catherine x

Our cat used to drink tea! We came down one day to find bungie the cat on the kitchen table dipping his paw into a cup of tea and licking it from his paws! From that day we used to give him his own cup of tea! Sue from grouville x x :-)

Our old cat use to love Jersey dairy toffee yogurt & my brothers old dog used to eat melon skin. Mad Hatter.

My stupid coon eats elastic bands, peanut butter, coconut milk and marmiteand plastic bags. I heard of another
coon who ate cotton t shirts and had to have an operation! Frances

Our old cat Tango ate wotsits and cheese and onion crisps, our other cat Sprite ate flies! Nik

My chihuahua eats cat poo out the litter tray yuk lesley

My late shih tzu Buster liked grapes and rufus 17 mths ir partial 2 a bit of woodchip fm the garden! S-hell-fiar x

Our cat loves cheese . Tina.

Our horses love to eat jersey royals

My cat Lilly loves sultanas,my other cat Cookie is more traditional and loves fresh rabbit-preferably still moving!! Jenn

My dog shadow ate hazelnuts! We had 2 put bowl up out of her reach or we'd find shells all over the place! Mark

My cat eats worms, my neighbours cat, not to be outdone eats slow worms

Our dog eats a garlic bagette in 2 bites!

My cat merc once shoved his face in my bowl of tomato soup. Yummy. Jetz

My cat harvey eats chicken curry.

Hi Pete My two cats, Sid & Elliott used to eat chinese take-away and corn-on-the-cob! :-) from Gill

My old cat ziggy used to eat fruit pastels, michelle

Skye the greyhound is partial to beeswax candles !

My cat has an obsession with eating string and ribbon, my 7 year old son can't bring balloons home from parties because the cat will have it.

 

What is the strangest place you have ever fallen asleep?

In a lift when i got Drunk till next morning from mark

Hi pete. Fell asleep on hard floor of millennium dome, wile watching the spectacular show not long after it opened. My friend Yvonne couldn’t believe it! Jayne

Hi peter that has to be in the gunners seat of a chieftain tank when i was a squaddie the gun barrel is linked to the gunners sight and as the barrel moves up and down so the sight rocks back and forth it used to do the trick every time :-) cheers yorkie dave

At crufts dog show in a dog stall when I was 7! Sophie

­Hi Peter my husband Paul fell asleep on a nun once. He was travelling acrossAmericaon a Greyhound and a nun sat down next to him. He woke up with his h­­ead resting on her shoulder. She said he looked so peaceful she didn't want to disturb him! Linzi xx

I used to nod off whilst taking minutes for mtgs then wonder why my notebook was full of funny little dots instead of shorthand! 

There were some times when I slept in a photo booth, amazed that nobody had put money in to take the incriminating pics! White Van Fran

My friend fell asleep in a hedge after my wedding with his kilt on 

Woke up on the overnight ferry to Weymouth. Not good, as it was only meant to be a quiet pint after work, and I was supposed to be at work that morning. Karl.

I fell asleep in the dentist chair while having root canal treatment!!! Angela x 

Peter i once fell asleep listening 2 radio jersey,ha.ha.burt the camper

­My son fell asleep under a table at a wedding on Saturday and caused panic as we couldn't find him. Looked everywhere for 20 mins before a friend had bright idea to lift all the tablecloths. Tracey.

Hi peter. I have fallen asleep at a boring string quartet concert at the art centre! Oops! And my husband john fell asleep at a dinner party and i had to keep poking him to keep him awake! Sue from grouville x x :-)

After italian food festival a few years ago, i went for a hair cut and fell asleep in mid cut! Had to go back next day to have it finished as only half done! Roger the saint 

Morning. I fell asleep at the table in Partners Restaurant. My husband just carried on & finished his meal. He told the staff I was fine & was always doing it x

Hi peter weirdest place to sleep in someone elses attic at a sleepover thanks heather jcg PREP

I slept under a pile of leaves in Sir Alex Ferguson's garden about 25 years ago. Big Tam.

 

Researchers questioned thousands of mothers and fathers of under-16s to come up

with the recipe for a harmonious family life.

'BEST' TO 'WORST' COMBINATIONS OF CHILDREN:

1. Two girls will be perfect

2. One boy and one girl will also get along well (Errrrr NO!!)

3. Two boys will be ok

4. Three girls will bicker a little

5. Three boys will argue a little bit

6. Four boys will bicker

7. Two girls and one boy, the girls will pick on the boy

8. Two boys and one girl the boys will pick on the girl

9. Three boys and one girl is a recipe for disaster

10. Three girls and one boy means the pub seems like a good option..

11. Two boys and two girls means a lot of arguments

12. Four girls means it could be world war 3

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The ‘@’ symbol on the computer keyboard is known by various nicknames around-the-world. The French & Italians call it the ‘snail’; Norwegians refer to it as a ‘pig’s tail’; the Germans a ‘monkey’s tail’; and the Chinese call it ‘little mouse’. The Russians think of it as a ‘dog’, and the Finns as a ‘slumbering cat’.

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A new list of the funniest gags ever proves the old ones really are the best.

It was compiled after a joke by comedian Tim Vine - voted the best of this year's

Edinburgh Fringe Festival - was later branded not really very funny.

 

1. A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “Ugh, that’s the ugliest

baby I’ve ever seen!”

The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming.

She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!”

The man says: “You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I’ll hold your monkey for

you.”

2. “I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shih-tzu.”

3. Dyslexic man walks into a bra.

4. A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an

affair, so she buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in

bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head.

Her husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde screams: “Shut up… you’re next!”

5. “I said to the gym instructor: “Can you teach me to do the splits?” He said: “How

flexible are you?” I said: “I can’t make Tuesdays.”

6. Police arrested two young kids yesterday. One was drinking battery acid, the other

was eating fireworks. They charged one lad and the other one was let off.

7. Two aerials fall in love and get married. The ceremony was rubbish but the

reception brilliant.

8. “Doc, I can’t stop singing the Green Green Grass Of Home.”

He said: “That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome.”

I asked: “Is it common?”

He replied: “It’s not unusual.”

9. I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.

10. A man walks into a bar with a roll of Tarmac and says: “Pint please, and one for

the road.”

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Men Are Just Happier People because

Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.  
You can never be pregnant.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks and engines. A five-day holiday requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
Your underwear is £9.50 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original colour.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one colour for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache. You can do Christmas shopping for 24 relatives on 24th December in 24 minutes.
No wonder men are happier!